So, who does pay for what?

While you were deciding on your wedding budget, you might have had the discussion with your parents and soon-to-be inlaws about who is able and willing to pay for what for your wedding. While the bride's family pays-for-it-all scenario may still hold true, these days bill-paying tends to be more equitably shared among parents and the couple. Here is a quick rundown of who's more likely to pay for what today:

Pre-Wedding Parties
Traditional:
The bride's family covers the first engagement party (the groom's side can throw one of its own); his side pays for the rehearsal dinner.

Modern:
Each family may throw an engagement party (the bride's family can host the first one, if it likes); anyone can host the rehearsal dinner-even an aunt.

Stationery
Traditional:
The bride's family pays fore very invitation, program, and place card-and even the stamps.

Modern:
The couple can pick up the tab, maybe choosing to DIY the save-the-dates or invites to save money.

Ceremony
Traditional:
The bride's parents take care of the music, venue fee, and aisle runner. The groom covers the marriage license and the officiant's fee.

Modern:
If the wedding is being performed at one family's house of worship,, that family covers the ceremony costs. Otherwise, anyone can pay.

Flowers
Traditional:
The bride's family pays for the big-ticket items like centerpieces. The groom's side springs for the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres, and corsages.

Modern:
All the flowers are paid for together, by the bride's or groom's side, or the couple themselves.

Photo/Video
Traditional:
The bride's family pays to document the occasion.

Modern:
One family pays for the photos for the video Or the couple hire the photog, and the families each buy their own prints and albums.

Reception
Traditional:
You guessed it: The bride's family picks up the entire tab-food drink, decor, and music.

Modern:
The groom's family covers specifics like liquor or music; the bride's family pays for the rest. Better: Everyone pitches in according to what they can do.


So, let's hope everyone is on the same page and comfortable so you can start planning!

How to establish your wedding budget

You're finally engaged and excited to share the news with everyone! I don't blame you because this is such an exciting time in your lives. In all of the excitement and joys of deciding what type of wedding you would like, the very first thing you and your finance need to establish is your wedding budget.

You will both need to sit down with both sets of parents and decide who is willing and able to pay for what and how much they are willing to allocate to your wedding. There are the traditional roles parents play when it comes to paying for wedding items, but I"ll blog more on that topic later this week! You and your fiance can also decide how much you are willing to allocate to your wedding.

In addition to seeing who will contribute, how much and to which aspects of the wedding (your parents will pay for the ceremony and reception venue while your soon-to-be hubby's parents want to contribute to the food and alcohol,) you can also use this formula:



(# of months you have before the wedding) X (amount you can put aside each month) X (your parents' contribution and any other savings) - (5 percent (set aside for cost overruns))= Your budget!



So, let's say that you are 13 months from your wedding date, you are able to set aside $300 each month ($3900), your parents are going to contribute $15,000, and you allot for cost overruns. Your wedding budget would be roughly around $17,900.


You need to make sure everyone is comfortable with what they are able and willing to contribute. This will definitely keep things from feeling awkward and keep things in perspective as you begin your planning process.